The Fear of Being

Growing up I always felt different from others, my interests and passions were not similar to my peers. I loved history, a trait I probably inherited from my grandfather. Not only did I love history, but I also loved reenacting historical events and pretending I was apart of great moments of times past. I lived to talk about anything-history to anybody who would listen.

Later in high school, my parents enabled me to do Civil War reenacting. I loved that time, but I eventually moved on. Later in high school, I also started making videos and putting them on the Internet. I was passionate about getting young people on fire for Jesus. Then, I just stopped.

A lot of things happened in my life during my high school years, but ultimately I was suffering from a lack of identity. I was insecure as to who I was. I would try and dress, talk, and act like my peers hungry for any acceptance I could find.

I feel confident in saying that I know that I am not alone in the lacking. The feeling of inadequacy that consumes you. I went from being a very outgoing person to person trying to blend in, not wanting to rock the boat. I was suffering rejection from those close to me so to avoid more hurt I tried to fit in to prevent any more of it.

I gave up my passions because I feared what others thought and I was unwilling to pay the price that putting yourself out for the world to judge costs.

I let the world steal my passion for change.

I was at a Spirit lead bible study the other night, and I felt the Lord speak to me. He brought to my attention that what I was passionate about was not a thing that I should be ashamed of, because He put that passion inside me. That passion is the work He wants to do through me.

We are all God’s original masterpieces, and we take our identities and sell ourselves short of the person God created us to be.

Fear has always been a part of being alive. The fear of what other people think consumes our thoughts. It dictates how we act, dress, and talk to others. We want to be a winner and receive the accolades from our peers, but even if we receive it, we will still feel empty inside. No amount of praise from man can replace what a God who knew you from the before the womb has to say about you.

What am I saying?

Embrace what you love! That is could very well be the thing that God placed you on earth to change the world through. What does that look like? If you love skateboarding, dive head first in perfecting your craft. If you love telling stories, don’t stop it. If you love to read, dig deeper. Perfect your Passion. Grow in that facet and let the Holy Spirit use that as a way to connect with others. I truly believe when we embrace the identity that God has given us we can be empowered to change the world. We don’t have to live in fear of man anymore.

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